Love Is Not Rude
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (English Standard Version)
Paul continues the negative description of love in verse 5 by asserting that it is not rude. J.B. Philips, in his translation, states, “love practices good manners.” Other translations use language like, “does not act unbecomingly”or “doth not behave itself unseemly.” So just what is Paul driving at here?
Paul may have in mind the conduct of Corinthian believers at worship as described in chapter 11:2-16; as well as that in chapter 14. In those passages, there are several examples of Christians “behaving badly.” Rudeness as a behavior is actually a composite of several negative characteristics.
At the heart of rudeness is a thoughtless disregard for the feelings and sensibilities of others. It is a form of disrespect. We act unbecomingly when we simply don’t take time to think through our actions and words. We instead plunge ahead with whatever it is we are determined to do. Americans are especially good at this; reticence is not generally found among our conspicuous traits! Sometimes we act rudely toward others because we are simply careless and unguarded. Learning to look out for the concerns of others—sensitivity—is a key component in overcoming rudeness.
I am personally convicted as I study this passage and come to this phrase. I am a forceful personality (stop laughing), have strongly held opinions, and often speak my mind in and out of the pulpit. I wonder if sometimes that does more to turn people away from Christ than draw them to him? Have I been more concerned with saying my piece and getting my point across, than being sensitive and gracious to others? Especially, have I been graceless in my attitude toward and communication with those with whom I disagree? These are questions that you might ask yourself also. Love is more than just being gracious and considerate, but it is never less. If people don’t see the gentleness of Jesus in us, they are less likely to hear the gospel we proclaim.
