Give Parents Their Props
The first 4 commandments dealt with our relationship with God. These are the VERTICAL commandments.
A lawyer once asked Jesus what He considered the greatest commandment. Jesus said to him, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. (Matthew 22:37-38 NKJV)
The final 6 commandments deal with our relationships with others. These are the HORIZONTAL commandments.
In that same exchange with the lawyer, Jesus went on to say, "And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:39-40 NKJV)
With that being said, it is no shock that the first of the HORIZONTAL commandments would address the relationship between children and their parents.
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12 NKJV)
It is clear by this commandment's prominence in the lineup that God puts a premium on it, but our world today doesn't value this commandment. When you watch TV shows today, how are most parents portraied? They are Morons! Let's face it, Homer Simpson does not make you want to respect him. That 70's Show parents always come off looking like idiots. And that is what Hollywood drums into the heads of our kids. Even when parents do get respect, it's more of a "what can I get out of it" type of attitude. Like the bumper sticker which reads: "Honor your parents: they haven't written their will yet".
God's command stands in sharp contrast to that attitude. It's very simple: Honor your father and mother. Let's talk about that word, "honor." The Hebrew word has the following ideas: to strengthen, to boast, to give weight and influence to, and to not humiliate. So how do we "honor" our parents?
We need to answer that in two ways. First, let's consider how to honor our parents as a child in the home. The major way we honor our parents at that stage in life is through obedience. Make sure your obedience flows from respect for your parents or you might be like the little boy who was standing in the back seat of the car, riding down the road with his parents. His parents told him to sit down and put on his seat-belt because they were concerned about his safety. His father told him once, then twice, then a third time. His mother looked back and asked him to sit down. He defiantly said, "No, I will not sit down!" His father told him if he didn’t sit down he would give him the spanking of his life. So the boy sat down. But then he said, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside.” There’s obedience, but there’s no respect.
As to the matter of respect, let me give two bits of advice. Always speak kindly to your parents. With your words and tone show respect. Then, always speak kindly of your parents. Do not put them down or trash them to your friends.
Now let's consider how to honor our parents when we are no longer a child at home. Let's be quick to show gratitude to our parents for all they are and all they have done for us. Let them know what they mean to you!
Also, show them consideration. Be considerate of their feelings, their decisions, and their needs. And speaking of needs, don't forget to make provision for your parents as they advance in years. Consider these words from the Apostle Paul:
But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:4,8 NKJV)
Let me urge one further step to take in honoring your parents. That is honor them by forgiving their failings. But you might say, "What if my parents aren't worthy of honor?" Maybe they divorced and left you hanging. Maybe Mom and Dad fought and you were caught in the middle...a pawn in a marital tug-of-war. Perhaps you were abused...physically or emotionally. Forgiveness is a needed word for you.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice to not hold on to anger or the desire for revenge. Give up thinking of them with contempt. Then, ask God to begin using you as a channel for his love. Forgiveness is the key to freedom.
